Joi is now trying (and failing) to argue that pears are a far superior fruit to the kiwi.

I think this argument is ridiculous and misguided for many reasons.

1) Only nerds love pears.

2) Pears are hard and have stone hearts inside them. Only unemotional people/nerds could love them.

3) Kiwis are soft and lush and glamorously and exuberantly colored. If the kiwi were a starlet it'd be Rita Hayworth.

4) In contrast, pears are a cross between yellow and brown and have weird discolorations on them. If the pear were a.. Oh, I think we all know a pear would never be a starlet, just an old crone.

5) A kiwi looks so helpless and hairy from the outside, but when you cut it open... it is like a jewel!!! A wondrous surprise of a jewel, like a pearl inside an oyster.

6) Pears look ugly on the outside. Oh, and on the inside, too. Yawn.

I leave you with this final pictorial display of a) lush erotic splendor (I almost feel I should put a robe on this fruit!!!), and b) cold virginal austerity. Come on, those pears might as well be wearing nurse's shoes that pad across the floor.

a)


b)


I think I've made my case.