My obnoxiosa sister sent me a Christmas card on her fancy law firm holiday stationary in which she wrote the following:

Dear Darling Sister,
O tis a merry holiday season. May all your dreams come true to the tenth power. May you become wealthy beyond imagination and give me lots and lots of $$. May you stop meeting losers and find a good man and finally have a damned baby for once. May you win a pulitzer prize for coolness. Have a very merry christmas fairy.
Love,
Your Darling Sister

Note: My sister has only recently come to the conclusion that she may not want to have children and therefore I should have them instead. And this after I have waited patiently for so long to have me some nieces and nephews! I have informed her that it is solely her obligation and life's calling and not mine. She makes up stories about how my dad thinks I would be such a good mother, etc. I tell her that she's the one with all the dough and I have too many novels to write. She has decided I need a very rich husband. I have told her she has no time to waste and she better get crackin.

Because, really, she is just very lazy. Sigh.