So my first foray into dessert making has yielded pure gold. I just had to write up a description of my dessert to accompany it in the BAKE OFF. Just take a gander:

MAGICAL PISTACHIO ICE CREAM DESSERT
It is with this confection that Cleopatra seduced Mark Antony and it is because of it that the Trojan War began (it is rumored that Helen was the first to combine these sacred ingredients in a moment of alchemical and erotic frenzy). Over the many generations it has passed through the hands of only a few secret and witchly chefs, to be consumed only at the most clandestine moonlit celebrations at times of harvest. This is the first time, in all of history, that it has been entered in a BAKE OFF. Exercise caution when consuming it, as it has been made with PURE LOVE, and is very likely to open your heart in ways you never imagined it could be opened. Not to mention your legs.